I decided to write today because it has been a while since I graced my little Xanga blog with my presence. I'm in a pretty mellow mood... have been for a few days. Ever since I realized that I need to keep my mouth shut. I get something good in my life, and my big mouth ruins it for me. As usual. Except this time I'm really hurting because of it. I only knew him for a week really. It's not like we had been together forever. We weren't even together just seeing each other. And he was such a sweetheart! So adorable! He made me smile and giggle like a little girl. He made me feel good inside and it's been a while since I've felt that way. He made me forget about Ohio and I really thank him for that :)

But, because I had to run my big mouth, since I don't know when to stop talking, I mentioned about how I cheated on (the ex "husband") a long time ago.. a LONG time ago.. he wasn't comfortable with that.

And I lost him

And it was all my fault

It's always my fault! Me and my big mouth. My stupid mouth. My stupid attitude. I just need to settle and slow my roll.

So, now I can't stop thinking about him. I got too into him too quickly. I started liking him so much so fast. I rush into things too quickly and that always seems to hurt me in the end.

But life is life and things happen so I'm just trying not to let it bother me too much. Just, unfortunately it is. I'm still waiting and hoping for a text from him or something. Like it's ever going to happen.

....

Today kind of sucked. This week kind of sucked. After the lovely events that took place Saturday night, my week just kind of went.. blegh.

I realized my Zune is gone. Like GONE. The party Christina and I had obviously people thought it was a free for all, because my Zune, both of her mp3 players, her Ipod, and her old cell phone... gone. All gone. And now I've just realized I haven't seen my digital camera around so that may be another possible item to be GONE. It had my only pictures of Cleveland and of Rusty on it... all gone. That's pretty sucky.

I started my period early. Thursday. That is sucky in itself, but it started just in time for the weekend, so I am kind of prohibited on the things that I can do, and that sucks. As well as my emotions or PMS or whatever also making me feel nothing but freaking sucky.

I had plans for tonight and everyone copped out on me. (Is that how you spell it? hmm Who knows) and so now I'm just chillin at home.. writing on xanga.. watching a show on MTV2 about these skater boys breaking bones and smashing their faces and whatever.. and not to mention feeling sucky.

It's Friday night and I'm doing nothing.

This is so sucky.

I need to get my hair done again... roots are growing in too quickly... need to get it cut.. and I need to get my second hole on my ears re-peirced.. they've grown back.

I want to get my top lip peirced under my nose.. maybe.

I want to get a tattoo.

When will I ever get the courage to do any of that?

I miss my Ohio man but I've kind of got the feeling that it's not going to work with us. And that makes me feel so sucky... It's been a long time since I've really been into someone like that. I just need to stop getting my hopes up.

So basically this post sucks because my mood sucks and no one is going to want to read this. Haha. But whatever. I just felt like writing about how crappy I feel.